10 Ways Not to Be a Perfectionist:

1) Read the rules, then accidentally break them.

2) Have a beer or two. Things don’t matter as much then.

3) If you’re missing an ingredient, add something else instead.

4) Forget about what other people think.

5) Forget about what you think.

6) Break something, drop something, spill something, scratch something, or do something else that pretty much ruins your whole project.

7) Consider the accidents as the best parts.

8) Laugh at yourself. Out loud. In front of a mirror. Don’t stop laughing until your stomach hurts. If you can’t laugh, force yourself to. It will make you laugh because it’s so stupid.

9) Stupid things are good too. They are just as good as beautiful, intellectual, polished, perfect things.

10) Have some tea, take a nap, cuddle with the dog, watch a movie, cook a delicious meal with cookies for dessert, go on a walk, dance in the bedroom, read a book, call your loved ones, do your nails, trim your toenails, make some art for fun, and then, well, just forget about it. It doesn’t matter anyway. Or if it does, do it again until you like it.

 

Image Source: Nobody’s Perfect

Brutally Honest Stories About Being Human

There are those times when you feel alone. Even if you’re surrounded by people, you are alone. And you alone love the people around you so much that you fear losing them. I will not lose my life and I don’t want you to lose yours either. We are humans. We breathe & fart. We have air coming out through all sorts of holes. We thrive on routine and live for play. We are nice to each other, or we should be.

Life is too complicated. We are too driven by our brains. And fear.

I fear death as much as I fear being humiliated in front of tons of people. And yet I humiliate myself and call it art. For some reason that’s okay. I allow my creative juices to interpret and embellish on my everyday experiences.

I’m reading a book, What’s Not to Love by Jonathan Ames. It is the most honestly grotesque book about male puberty and bodily dysfunction. The chapters have titles such as “An Erection is a Felony”, and “I Shit My Pants in the South of France”, and “Insomni-Whack”. The titles say it all. I am in love. With honesty that exposes the inherent imperfections of human nature, Ames has a witty sense of humor and wonderful knack for autobiographical storytelling.

One summer during my teenage years, when I was waiting for my Godotish puberty, I went away to a Jewish Camp in Upstate New York. I was in the Levi division (Levi was the name of one of the original Hebrew tribes before it became a pair of jeans) of newly christened teenagers, and to my horror I discovered that I was the only boy who still had a small, undeveloped penis and no pubic hair! So I had to hide myself the whole summer. I would quickly change my clothes with my back to my tentmates, and only showered early in the morning when no one else was around. It was nerve-racking. (Ames, pg. 8)

Several weeks went by and I didn’t hear from them and I forgot about the whole thing. In the meantime, I was busy regrowing my hair. I had done some research on the subject and I was taking certain actions. I was trying to quit coffee since it robbed my body of hair-related vitamins, and I was avoiding masturbation because I read a book on Eastern practices of semen-retention, which told me that masturbation dried up my spinal fluid and made my hair fall out. I’ve now come to see my bald spot and the bald spots of other men as the mark of Cain for excessive self-abuse.
I also purchased rosemary oil, which is very good for the health, and a rubber scalp invigorator. And I started eating lots of sea vegetables because I read that people in Asian cultures had very good hair and that their diet was rich in seaweed. (Ames, pg. 20)

These are the stories I want to hear, and want to tell. Stories that capture universal human experiences and humorously assure the reader that he or she is, indeed, not alone.

Image Sources:
http://www.mediabistro.com/fishbowlny/tag/jonathan-ames
http://www.condenaststore.com/-sp/I-ve-never-been-so-humiliated-in-my-entire-week-New-Yorker-Cartoon-Prints_i8472479_.htm

References:
Ames, Jonathan. What’s Not to Love? New York: Crown Publishers, 2000.

WOMEN ARE FUNNY!!!!

Hey all,

This is a shorter post prelude to a longer post. I’m in Chicago now, preparing to perform at the Chicago Women’s Funny Festival (CWFF): http://www.chicagowomensfunnyfestival.com/. All I can say right now is that it’s a fabulous event, and WOMEN ARE FUNNY!!! Not that you didn’t know that already, but just a gentle reminder that, indeed, WOMEN ARE FUNNY! Did I already say that? Well I mean it!

As a pre-ode to my next posting, which will be a review of CWFF and personal account of performing at it, I’m going to dedicate this post to a few of my favorite female comedians. Here you go:

Lucille Ball:

SO FUNNY!!!!

.

Carol Burnett:

Great physical comedy!

.

Gilda Radner:

Ha!

.

That’s all for now. I will post more soon. Time to get ready for the show!!!

The art of singing cheesy holiday songs badly at the top of your lungs

Dear readers,

Hello! Forgive me for lagging on new post updates. As I’m sure you all know, this time of year is a busy one.

Christmas songs are now being played everywhere for the holidays. I’ll say it straight up that I am NOT a big fan of being subjected to constant holiday cheer, and even furthermore being forced to get cheesy Christmas songs literally stuck in my head for days on end. Just like it drove me crazy when my Grandma used to sing “It’s a Small World After All” as a joke to get it stuck in our heads (she lived around the corner from Disneyland), it drives me crazy just as much to be forced to have “Frosty the Snowman” stuck in my head because the coffee shop thought it would be dandy to get their customers into the holiday spirit for the ENTIRE MONTH OF DECEMBER.

On one particular evening recently in the grocery store, however, as I was scooping lettuce and tomatoes into my shopping cart, I caught myself singing along to “Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer” as it blasted over the store speakers, as if I was *gasp* enjoying it! Of course I immediately stopped, embarrassed, and looked around to make sure that nobody was watching me. It’s one thing to be forced to listen to the constant holiday cheese, but it’s another thing to be caught in the act of unconsciously enjoying it! I clammed up quickly, and avoided eye contact at all costs.

But once I had purchased my bags of groceries and headed out to the car, as if in an act of derangement, I let loose and sang cheesy Christmas songs as loud as I could for the entire drive home. And it was AMAZING. Really, it felt so good. And I sang them badly, and I changed the words, and I made them dirty and rude at times. It was great. Because sometimes, instead of always rejecting the cheese, you have to just give up and embrace it. Not to say that you have to run out and join the community choir today, unless that’s your inclination. But to say that anywhere, at any moment, you too could take all those songs you’re desperate to avoid and instead sing them like they’re the best dang songs that you could ever be singing in December for the holidays. Sing them over and over again, and if you wish, sing them badly. Change the words to fit your own holiday experience. Use your facial expressions. Sing them to someone you love or hate. Just sing them!!! At least once. Even if it hurts. Because sometimes embracing the pain is the best thing you can do to let go of it. And for me, on that one particular night, it felt great to let my frustration about the whole holiday mayhem out by singing “Little Drummer Boy” at the top of my lungs as badly as I could in the privacy of my very own car.

In celebration of rebelling against the cheesiness by embracing it full-force just a little, just for a moment, I’ve collected a few of my favorite cheesy Christmas song videos to share with you. Feel free to pick one of your choice and sing it in a moment of holiday frustration.

Del Rubio Triplets: “Winter Wonderland”:

.

Bing Crosby: “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer”:

.

Alvin & the Chipmunks: “Christmas Don’t be Late”:

.

John Denver: “Little Drummer Boy”:

Image Links:

http://billmadison.blogspot.com/2007_12_01_archive.html (‘Tis the Season)

http://cooklikeyourgrandmother.com/2009/02/i-remember-this-feeling/ (I Remember This Feeling)

http://stuffthatsbugginme.blogspot.com/2011/02/sreaming-kids.html (Screaming Kids!!)

Yoga Humor

There’s nothing like a little bit of yoga humor. Every one of these cracked me up, and I hope they do you, too!

Image Links

http://spoiledyogi.blogspot.com/2010/08/best-yoga-teacher-jokes.html (Spoiled Yogi)

http://www.funtoosh.com/jokes/personality/1270 (Presenting the Yoga Dogs)

http://www.salagram.net/Newsletter-Jokes237.html (Krishna Conscious)

http://www.j4jokes.com/blog/funny-pctures/funny-pictures/ (Funny Pictures)

http://fun.marinov.net/show.php?id=3624&t=The+Yoga+Cats&tt=dir (The Yoga Cats)

http://carrieowerko.com/?p=35 (Yoga Cartoon from New Yorker)

http://www.cartoonstock.com/directory/y/yoga_practice.asp (Yoga Practice Cartoons)

http://www.harrybliss.com/store/spiritualityyoga-c-10.html?osCsid=vdfnnzvhojy (Harry Bliss)

The Joy of the Pomegranate

You know, pomegranates have always kind-of baffled me. I could just never figure out the seeds of pomegranates. They’re so big! It’s hard to know whether to swallow them, or spit them out. 75% seed, 25% delicious fruit juice. If you’re lazy, like me, you don’t take the time to scoop them out one my one into a strainer and then remove all the bits and pieces and then rinse them and then FINALLY get around to eating them. No, I’m the type who cuts the thing in half and starts gnawing. I can hardly see my computer screen because it’s COVERED in pomegranate juice.

But, you know what? It’s worth it. Because pomegranates are GOOD. Despite the seeds, despite the awkwardness, despite the spraying juice. Pomegranates remind me what fall’s all about: eating.

Image Links:

http://www.pomegranatehealthbenefitsblog.com/health-benefits-of-pomegranate-juice-and-pomegranate-seeds/pomegranate-seed-detail-3/ (Pomegranate juice)

http://www.wecanky.com/pomegrantates.html (Pomegranates: The Fruit Kids Can’t Resist)

http://thatssuperfood.com/pomegranate-magic/ (Pomegranate Magic)

http://www.noveleats.com/how-to/open-a-pomegranate/ (Open a Pomegranate)

Comic Procrastination

I’m not going to say too much today, because I’m deep in the throes of trying to finish up a grant proposal that’s due tomorrow. In fleeting moments of procrastination over the past two hours, I have collected some entertaining comics that at least for a moment have taken my mind off the grind of asking for money. There’s nothing like a little humorous interlude to put things in perspective.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Image Links

http://www.graphixia.cssgn.org/2011/07/04/30-who-wears-the-tights-in-this-relationship-selfhood-and-identity-in-grant-morrisons-batman-and-robin/

http://www.buffalorumblings.com/2009/11/26/1171942/happy-thanksgiving-nfl-week-12

http://www.thefunnycartoon.com/funny-cartoon/funny-cartoon/bztoons—cartoon-gallery.html

http://www.funnycartoonpictures.net/postcard.img287.htm

http://www.glasbergen.com/diet-health-fitness-medical/?album=2&gallery=59

http://baloo-baloosnon-politicalcartoonblog.blogspot.com/2010/10/dieting-cartoon.html

Ghosts of Halloween Past and Future

Well it’s Halloween again, and despite the fact that it’s one of my most favorite holidays, I’ve opted to dress up in costumes at home this year rather than brave the cold chaos outside. My husband and I set up a photo studio in our apartment and took some pics of our impressive costumes. Here’s a few of them here:

Lilik models as an Underwear Terrorist

Me as Betty the Bedrudged

Last year I actually went to a Halloween party, the theme of which was Dictators & Natural Disasters. I ended up dressing up as a Dick Tator, and carrying around a suitcase full of hot tator tots ready to eat. Here’s the pic (unfortunately we didn’t set up the photo studio last year, so it’s not the best, but it’ll give you the idea, anyway :

Dick Tator

And then there’s next year… What might I dress up as next year? Here are a few ideas I’m pondering:

The Black Belt Sanitary Napkin

The Hula Dancer

Yip-Yips (with one other person)

Three Little Pigs & a Wolf (with 3 other people)

Giving Birth to a Husband Costume (?!)

Wow. I don’t think I can top that one. Impressive! And weird.

Happy Halloween to those of you celebrating!

Image Links

http://www.wtfcostumes.com/type/scary/index.php?page=5 (WTF Costumes)

http://www.hilariousheadlines.com/5-funny-halloween-costumes.html (5 Funny Halloween Costumes)

http://www.marthastewart.com/274618/your-best-halloween-costumes/@center/276965/halloween (Your Best Halloween Costumes)

http://listoftheday.blogspot.com/2011/10/effin-creepy-vintage-halloween-costumes.html (Effin’ Creepy Vintage Halloween Costumes of the Day)

http://www.coolest-party-ideas.com/halloween-costume-party-pictures.html (Coolest Halloween Costume Party Pictures)

Art with Googly Eyes

I don’t know about you, but I’m a big fan of googly eyes. Working on my thesis project for grad school, which will be a lo-fi horror film and live performance titled Red Blob Massacre, I’m all about giving my Red Blob character googly eyes. There’s something about googly eyes that adds a bit of humor to any situation. Googly eyes have a DIY feel to them, you can buy them for cheap at any local JoAnn Fabrics or other art store, and they turn anything into a character. What more could you want?!

Here are several examples I discovered of the creative use of googly eyes:

Baby Googly Eyes

Googly Eye Breakfast

Googly Fashion

Googly Veggies

Googly Framed

Street Art Googly

Googly Googly Monster

Googly Face

Blue Monster Googly

Googly Eyes on a Rock

And I can’t make this blog post featuring googly eyes without including some of the work by my amazing husband, who is a painter and artist:

I have to say that googly eyes in his artwork are my favorite out of all of them. And that’s not just because he’s my husband!! To check out more of his work, visit his website(s): http://swidyoa.com/home.html, http://www.impressionphotography.com/swa/index.html and Etsy: http://www.etsy.com/shop/Biantu.

On another note, in the creation of this blog post I realized that my amazing blog post ideas are far from original. There are several googly eye posters out there!! For more interesting googly eye sightings, visit here: http://googlyeyewatch.blogspot.com/.

 

Image Links:

http://www.googlieyes.net/2010/11/my-first-post/ (GoogliEyes)

http://hilobrow.com/2010/09/02/merit-badge-2/ (Hilo Brow)

http://dollarstorecrafts.com/2011/10/fashion-diy-louboutin-googly-eye-slingbacks/ (Dollar Store Crafts)

http://www.thebandfrom.com/indoor-gardening-tips/2009/03/ (Indoor Gardening Tips)

http://artsandcraftss.com/tag/craft-googly-eyes/ (Art Sand Craftss)

http://ny.racked.com/archives/2011/03/30/mr_googly_eyes_replaces_lady_gaga_in_nolita.php (Mr. Googly Eyes Replaces Lady Gaga in Nolita)

http://www.wijom.com/Monster_Paintings.php (Wijom!)

http://www.art.uiowa.edu/gradimages/gradarchive.php?artist=Krueger,%20Adam%20C. (School of Art & Art History, University of Iowa)

http://www.makingthingsmove.com/2011/09/the-blue-monster/ (Making Things Move)

http://googlyeyewatch.blogspot.com/2008/05/nina-katchadourian-loves-googly-eyes.html ( Nina Katchadourian loves googly eyes )

Die Tomato, Die!!!

Last night I performed a piece, Die Tomato, Die!!! at the Performance Laboratory, which is a bi-monthly performance event I co-curate at the Contemporary Art Institute Detroit. The theme for this month was Death.

I performed Die Tomato, Die!!! for the first time last April in a seminar in grad school, then titled Tomato Smashing. Here are some pictures from that performance:

It was a successful performance, and I made a lot of discoveries by doing it. One of them was that smashing tomatoes with a hammer was more difficult than I thought (they roll off the table, especially if they’re not ripe enough). Another, that the juice sprays everywhere, including on the audience, who in that particular space space (an empty studio space) was in close proximity. As they were sprayed with squirts of tomato juice, my peers grabbed a plastic sheet on the floor that just happened to be there, and used it to protect themselves from the bursts. There were plenty of  yelps and squeaks as I worked away with my hammer. It was hard to be serious even though I was trying to be- I really didn’t know what would happen, and everything was unfolding in the moment.

The performance was aimed to be an exploration of the RED BLOB, which has been a theme I’ve been experimenting with in my work over the past year. I’ve done all kinds of experiments around the idea of what the red blob might represent, without wanting to define it too specifically as one particular thing. In the tomato smashing context, the tomato represents food and cooking (and a female doing it), there is something quite gorey about it as it is smashed, and it has an interesting context in a performance, especially with me, as the performer, smashing it. Usually it’s the audience members who throw the tomato at the performer…

So, with all these things in mind, I recreated this performance last night at the Performance Laboratory for The Death Show. And it went really well! In the context of death and horror (two other themes I’m working a lot with right now), I wanted to continue with the seriousness of the piece, choosing atmospheric ‘scary’ background music. I chose a costume that was a bit more ‘glamorous’ than the previous one, and was a red color just a bit deeper than the tomatoes, but would be partially hidden behind my white apron. I also added a timer, that I set to 10 minutes long, which is the duration limit for each piece at the Performance Lab. I added rubber gloves, which accentuated the horror effect and made a lot of people laugh in nervous anticipation. And lastly, I handed out plastic bags to the audience members in the first row, who were in close proximity to my table. Oh, the anticipation!!!! AND, I waited to enter for added suspense- just the audience staring at those shiny red tomatoes and a hammer with plastic bags on their laps, waiting for something to happen….

Here are pictures from the performance:

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

I have to say, this is definitely one of the most satisfying performances I’ve ever done in my entire life. There is something so incredibly liberating about covering an audience in tomato juice. And even though it was a serious piece, there was a lot of laughter, a lot of participation, and a continuous dialogue between me and the audience. This is still a work-in-progress, and I plan on continuing to develop it for more future performances. I feel so thankful to have the Performance Laboratory as a continuous forum to try things out and experiment. I couldn’t have asked for a more willing and accepting audience, one willing to get covered in tomato juice for the sake of good and experimental art. I don’t know if this would happen everywhere… it would certainly have to depend on the context, and the space that I performed it in.

You can read a review of the Performance Laboratory’s Death Show on the Midwest Theater Review: http://midwesttheatre.wordpress.com/2011/10/22/detroits-performance-laboratory-journey-to-the-interdisciplinary-fringe-a-review-by-edmund-lingan/

For more info about the Performance Laboratory, please visit our facebook page here: https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Performance-Laboratory/139602749441643. I co-curate this event with collaborator Carrie Morris. It takes place at the Contemporary Art Institute Detroit (CAID) every other month, featuring short works by artists and performers that explore what performance is, and what it can be.