Time tics away in blog world

Hi folks,

I’ve been attempting to come up with something creative to write for the last hour or so, but for the life of me I just can’t think of anything witty to say. I’m curious to learn how other famous bloggers manage to channel their creative blog juices over and over again…. Certainly the world wide web is a source of inspiration- all the info and prompts one could ever want are an instant click away. But…. for some reason, none of them are really catching my fancy tonight.

And so I sit and stare at this empty blog post..

Tic, toc. Tic, toc. Tic, toc.

Time is passing by as I write. I don’t often read how long it takes other bloggers to write a post. If you were getting paid to write a blog post, how many hours would you be clocking in by the week?

And yet, this blogging thing is not about the job, necessarily. It’s about… sharing ideas with the world.

Even if those ideas are sometimes… a bit on the slow side. Slyly waiting underneath the rug for the right time to reveal themselves.

And so time keeps ticking. Waiting for the next blog post inspiration.

Until then, I will continue to artfully clock my time in anticipation.

Why anything where I have to try and explain myself gives me a headache.

There’s something about having to explain myself in a concise set of words that gives me a headache. I can never quite manage to choose the right words that succeed at wrapping my whole life up into a pretty little bow. I suck at it. Fitting into the bow, I mean. Oh sure, I can explain myself. In millions of different ways. But choosing one set of cohesive words, all spelled correctly, that encompass my whole self? I don’t think so. That’s nearly impossible. The statement of my life is like a mood ring- it’s always changing. One day it’s purple, the next it’s black. Somedays I can’t even tell what color it is, let alone be able to explain it.

Ho-hum. If only I could explain myself in a song. Right now? What song would I pick, you ask?

No, I’m just kidding. This is the right one:

MIA is awesome. Love her funkiness.

And thus you see how my mind wanders.

The Art of Self Doubt

Every person has their ups and downs. Every artist has her ups and downs too. Yesterday I was up, today I am down. Perhaps tomorrow I will be up again. Nothing is perfect. Every project is always growing and changing. For the past several weeks since I’ve been back in grad school, with this being my last year and my big thesis project looming up in the near future, it’s as if I’ve been on a rollercoaster of new artistic ideas that both excite me and at the same time couldn’t be more terrifying. One day I think I know exactly what I’m going to do, and the next day it’s all up in the air again. I do already have certain elements that I know I want to explore, and am already exploring, but how I want to execute it and the medium(s) that I choose to work with are still in questioning. Yesterday over an amazing pancake breakfast, I wrote nonstop for over two hours what I thought would be the first draft of the film I am (or was) going to make for my thesis. It was invigorating. The words just flowed out of me. They needed to sit on that page. And I felt great about it.. until I went back and read the script in the evening. The second time around, it didn’t seem as exciting as the first. In fact, it seemed so short and simple, not at all what I was really going for….. Today.. well, today I’m torn in between. In a lot of ways there are many elements within what I wrote that excite me. Certainly some new ideas came up from my inspired pancake writings. However, perhaps it is also okay to decide that even though it was inspiring in the moment, and I needed to get those ideas out, I don’t have to stick with the script that I created at all. I can let it go. And go back to the drawing board. And think again. And reassemble. And think again. And doubt again. And then feel inspired and confident again. And perhaps, eventually, string all the ideas that really hit home together and make something out of them. It’s an ongoing process. And it’s not always easy. But that’s a part of art making. Art making is not one continuous inspiration. It can also be hell sometimes. But maybe it’s the struggle that in the end creates the most meaningful work. Because you have to really think about it. You have to doubt in order to believe again.

Photo credit:

http://www.utopia-britannica.org.uk/pages/New%20Harmony.htm