Tag Archives: home

Why Going Home Makes Me Wonder What the Hell I’m Doing With My Life

childhood-flashback-110

Going home for the holidays is always wonderful. I love seeing my family, lying around the house, eating Mom’s delicious food, enjoying the California sunshine and cuddling with the dogs. I also like passing by all the familiar places of my childhood: elementary school, the corner store, downtown, my first job, the old movie theater, etc. etc. These places bring back memories and remind me of what I am made of.

However, despite all the good things, going home can be challenging too. Back in my original element, I remember my original dreams and aspirations. I think about where I am currently, and start to feel depressed. Am I doing the right thing? Why haven’t a made it to the top yet? Why aren’t I living in a place with more opportunities? Why am I working a full-time job instead of pursuing my career as an artist? Why why why??

These questions started when as a family we watched the Kennedy Center Awards last night. Dustin Hoffman, Led Zeppelin, David Letterman… all these people whose careers reached the point of ultimate success. Who blazed through all the challenges and carved out their own unique niche in the world. I try to imagine what it would feel like to be honored in that way. Could I just give up at that point and be able to spend a week in my hometown without questioning whether I’ve made the right decisions in my life? Could I let myself off the hook once and for all and be happy with the path that I’ve taken? Don’t get me wrong- I am in many ways satisfied with what I’ve done and where I’ve been up until this point. However, I also feel there’s more to do, and more to overcome in order to reach my goals.

As a New Year’s resolution, I’m split. My goals in many ways are contradictory: follow my dream, and yet still manage to enjoy life along the way. Easier said than done, but no matter what I’m determined to be a successful artist and still have a life than is relaxing and enjoyable. The big question is….

Is that possible?????

Image Sources:
http://theberry.com/2010/06/02/back-in-the-day-20-photos/

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Dreaming of a live/work artist space

One of my big dreams has always been to have a huge live/work art space to make big pieces of crazy art, host funky performance and art events, AND cook up my Sunday morning pancakes. Ideally, it would also be a space that had a lovely little garden either in the backyard, or on top of the roof. I know that’s not usually how it works- you either get the loft, or get the house with the backyard. But when it’s a dream, it could be anything… Here are a few pics of cool-looking spaces I could envision myself in:

This one is okay, but I don’t love the cement floors. Would have to work on that.. Exposed brick is always a nice look, though. Plus a big open space.

Hardwood floors is more my style, especially old-looking hardwood floors like this one. Anything somewhat raw looking is good.

LOVE this space. Nice light, although the pillars could get in the way for some events..

I could certainly see myself living here, except that it costs a freaking $1,050,000. Artist loft converted to rich person condo :(.

Not sure about living in this one, but it sure looks cool! Plus it’s probably more in my price range…

Another fancy pants one, purchased at $1,000,000. Ugh, why do all the rich people get the good artist lofts? It’s not fair.

LOVE. I actually just applied for an artist residency at this one: (The Bemis Center). That would be a dream come true. Hope I get it. Artist residencies will at least offer the space until I can figure out how to afford one of my own…… someday… !

 

Image Links

http://www.attheedges.com/2009/11/26/sdspace4art-acquires-artist-livework-studio-spaces-apply-now-for-your-own-space/ (At the Edges)

http://jasonbrockert.com/inventory/?p=2914 (Jason Brockert Art)

http://cargocollective.com/315 (315 Linden)

http://sensationalloft.com/info.html (500 Molino Street)

http://maryland.inetgiant.com/baltimore/addetails/artist-looking-for-industrial-loft-type-live-work-space-baltimore/12886197 (iNetGiant)

http://www.mpfcorp.com/madison_park_live_work_lofts.html (Madison Park Financial Corporation)

http://www.bemiscenter.org/ (Bemis Center for Contemporary Arts)

Home is where the hArt is.

Coming home after being away is marvelous. Besides the drag of having to unload all your stuff again, do the dishes, clean the laundry, scrub the house, take a very hot shower, wash your dog, reorganize the refrigerator, re-color your hair, remove the half-left-over nailpolish off your big toes, and feed water to your plants, coming home is wonderful. Here are a few highlights of my recent coming home experience:

1. Sleeping in my own bed.

2. Taking a shower in my own bathroom.

3. Dancing/posing sexily in front of the mirror.

4. Wasting time on the internet.

Photo sources:  http://miniature-pinscher.net/miniature-pinscher-sleeping-in-bed/ (Miniature Pinscher), http://www.superstock.com/stock-photos-images/1538R-49967 (Super Stock), http://www.ebaumsworld.com/user/comments/H0sten/ (eBaum’s World, http://www.onthisdeity.com/7th-april-1969-%E2%80%93-the-birth-of-the-internet/ (The Birth of the Internet)